Thursday, April 7, 2011
No Longer Marketable...
I hit bottom last night. It was over a silly remark a friend made to me.
She made the remark without realizing to whom she was talking. It was innocently done. She was focusing on her own situation in life and just said it.
-But she said it several times.
-And it hurt.
"If I don't take this job offer now, I won't probably get the chance in the future because in a few years I'll be 50 and you know you are no longer marketable as a woman when you are over 50!"
Yes, I am over 50.
Driving home, I started thinking of all the dreams I had when I was like this woman. --All my goals.
Anything seemed possible. I could start a new career. Change direction in my life. Move.
In fact, every vacation we took became an "I-wonder-what-life-would-be-like-moving-here?" discussion.
Now I realized after those words were repeated to me "no longer marketable," how limited my choices are. I most likely won't get a chance to live in Colorado as I dreamed of doing since 15 years old. I most likely won't be a television, news producer behind the scenes writing and directing as I dreamed of doing in my 20's and 30's.
So, I got depressed. I let myself do that. I started whining about how life was passing me by or had passed me by and I had blown all my chances.
Isn't it ironic this happened just after I was going to fast from whining and complaining and focus on gratitude?
I think Satan knew this weak spot. This fear I have of aging, of feeling useless...he knows that.
That is why I came home from work to read the Scriptures, to once again remind myself of God's plan, love, and purpose for me. In heaven, I will have a job. I will not worry about being a "marketable age" any more! I will work for the best boss, Jesus!
OK. I'm better now. God's Word heals.
I hope God is speaking to you today through His Word. Just five minutes will help.
It helped me.
For His Glory,