Thursday, July 21, 2011

Change is Inevitable, Except from Vending Machines! Paraprosdokians...

Today's tidbit comes from my husband who forwarded the following to me because he knew I needed a smile.

PARAPROSDOKIANS … unusual wisdom
I had to look up "paraprosdokian". Here is the definition:
"Figure of speech in which the latter part of a sentence or phrase is surprising or unexpected; frequently used in a humorous situation."
"Where there's a will, I want to be in it!" is a type of paraprosdokian.

1. The last thing I want to do is hurt you. But it's still on my list.

2. Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.

3. If I agreed with you, we'd both be wrong.

4. We never really grow up, we only learn how to act in public.

5. War does not determine who is right - only who is left.

6. Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit. Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.

7. Evening news is where they begin with 'Good Evening,' and then proceed to tell you why it isn't.

8. To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism. To steal from many is research.

9. A bus station is where a bus stops. A train station is where a train stops. On my desk, I have a work station.

10. I thought I wanted a career. Turns out I just wanted paychecks.

11. Whenever I fill out an application, in the part that says, 'In case of emergency, notify:' I put 'DOCTOR.'

12. Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the street with a bald head and a beer gut, and still think they are sexy.

13. Behind every successful man is his woman. Behind the fall of a successful man is usually another woman.

14. A clear conscience is the sign of a fuzzy memory.

15. I asked God for a bike, but I know God doesn't work that way. So I stole a bike and asked for forgiveness. Do not use this one!

I hope these Paraprosdokians gave you a smile today. I know I needed one. For some odd reason, the last two weeks in July are my toughest part of the year. It seems to be a very unpleasant INBETWEEN part of the summer season. MidWest humidity builds; heat rises; grass turns brown; watering plants seems futile; pool water reaches 90; and finding ways to entertain my 10-year old increases in its challenge.

Today, though, I was lifted up not only by the paraprosdokians sent me but by reading the last chapter of Revelation.

Spoiler Alert! If you always wondered how the earth would end (Some say with fire, some say ice for Robert Frost poem fans), Revelation spells it all out.

It is a happy ending. Evil is defeated. God rules. Believers live forever with Jesus.

There is a lot of hurt and drama before the end though, isn't there? Satan does not want to go down alone. He tempts, entices, then accuses us when we fall.

Jesus does just the opposite. He loves, asks, provides, and forgives.

It is really a form of a paraprosdokian, isn't it? It is not expected that a ruler, all-powerful, who gives so much still provides and loves us when we fail to meet expectaitons. It is not human nature.

Thank goodness, or thank God, though, it IS God's nature.

May your day be filled smiles as you rest in the knowledge that the ending of this world is unexpected for Satan, but known for us as believers.

Good wins. Evil fails.

For His Glory,

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