Wednesday, September 28, 2011
Well, I blew it yesterday. I told a lie to a stranger to get my way.
Don't be shocked that a writer for a Christian blog told a lie. Just be shocked that I am able to confess it and have apologized for it.
You see, I don't think it would have bothered me as much a year ago. I mean I really had to fight the rationalizations that came all too easily. I believe it is because I am in the middle of studying the life of David that it hit me so hard and convicted me so very much.
Background to my lie is that I have shopped hard for just the right wedding attire lately. I capitulated after hours, days, weeks of continuing to bemoan colors, fit or lack of fit, and dress lengths. I ended up buying a black, pant suit for a Texas ranch wedding. In my heart I knew it wasn't right for the wedding, but I felt defeated and desperate. I did not notice the sign at check out that said NO RETURNS after 3 DAYS. This wasn't a sale item either by the way.
One week later, I spied the PERFECT dress, much less expensive, even WASHABLE and something I could wear again and again AFTER the wedding. I could not afford to add that dress to my account, so I thought it would be simple to return the pant outfit. I don't usually return items, but I was sure a few days would not be a problem for the pant suit. Confident, I purchased the dress and went back five days later to the pant shop.
After handing my never-worn-before-still-in-the-original-bag pant suit to the sales person, she pointed to the small sign (it was small) saying no returns after 3 days. Desperately I told a lie to her. I told her this outfit would be in no way approved or appropriate and I need my money back, please.
I knew it was wrong. I was operating out of purely selfish motives. As I walked out of the store with my return slip, I went home to finish my Bible study on David. Yes, ironic, right?
Guess what section I read? 1 Samuel 21-22 where David has to flee from Saul for his life and goes to a priest for food. When the priest asks David why he is alone and not with Saul or Saul's army, David lies to him. David's lie gets him needed food which was bread only used for God's convenant, and his lie gets him a sword. Ironically, it is the sword David took from Goliath when David was but a boy. David's lie gets him what he wanted. I thought, "Yeah! David was a man after God's own heart. If he could lie, so could I, right? No big deal."
Trouble comes from that lie later. David continues as he flees Saul to use his "street smarts" to get what he wants.
Of course, as I read this, I became terribly convicted. I thought, "Why did David not depend upon God to help him flee Saul, fight Saul, just as God had helped David when David was a boy fighting the giant, Goliath? " The answer was the same reason I did not trust God when I confronted the store policy for a return. I panicked. I saw people not willing to budge.Like David, I thought I would use my little white lie, my "street smarts."
You may think this a small thing in life.
This little lie.
Yet, for some reason it really stood out to me. I got in the car only to hear Dr. David Jeremiah talking about a time he did not return $20.00 as a young man and how, even after returning the money with interest years later, he never asked forgiveness or owned up to it personally. He talked about how the power of God can be diminished in one's life with unrepentence and how he had to ask forgiveness years later of the man whose money he had taken.
So I went home and wrote the owner a letter of thanks and a confession.
-And I warn you, Dear Reader, once you get into the Word of God, be ready for the Spirit to work on your life. It doesn't make things easier to be a Christian, but God' Word is for our benefit, for our good, so His power can flow freely through us. We can be free from guilt as God works to reveal and forgive sin in our lives.
Don't you know Satan was upset with all of this? All those wonderful rationalizations he and I had worked on that day disappeared in the Light of God's Word.
What about you? Is your mind open to God's direction today even though the world may say, "That's no big deal"? I pray so.
For His Glory,